


Decision

by Kabuto1234



Series: Anders and Hawke's relationship [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Anders Being Anders, Bombs, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Spoilers, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 21:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14656665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabuto1234/pseuds/Kabuto1234
Summary: Now, it is up for Hawke to decide his lover's fate. He already made up his mind, but how should he clearly express himself and would Anders approve of his decision...





	Decision

The sky was lit by various shades of red from feral flames, snowing with black ashes. The strong smell of charred wood, accompanied by an unmistakable one from burnt bodies was almost unbearable for everyone to withstand. Standing there, looking at Anders’ back, screams and voices of his companions were emerging in one big white blob of noise, that was unnoticeably passing Hawke’s mind. Emerging deep in his thoughts he could only feel his heart beating furiously and a cold handle of the dagger in his hand. His lover’s hair was tied in a messy ponytail, with several locks moving slightly with every wind blow. Hawke didn’t know if Anders was too embarrassed to look the other man directly in the eyes, or if he has already accepted his inevitable death. “But was it really inevitable?” - Hawke kept questioning himself. Of course he won’t kill his lover; he would never do this. However, what was the right thing to tell Anders? How could Hawke express his feelings, so Anders would understand him? These thoughts brought back deeply cherished intimate moments of them together, accompanied by laughs and hugs, began to flood Hawke’s mind. With his heart aching, he could feel a lonely tear dripping slowly down his face, as another wave of memories hit him.

***

Entering his residency, Hawke saw Anders, standing on the balcony, looking down at his lover. Getting closer to Anders, Hawke noticed sadness in the other man’s eyes, despite Anders trying his best to shield himself from Hawke’s intense gaze. Anders was standing quietly, fiddling with his hands, thinking about the words to say. Hawke knew very well that there was something going on in Anders’ head, but for some reason he didn’t want to share it with the other man. It was definitely frustrating for Hawke to know, that his lover doesn’t trust him, the way Hawke trusted Anders. Grabbing the other man’s hands in his own, Hawke began to gently stroke them. The other man’s hands were cold and shaky, which, in his case, was a definite signs of extreme nervousness 

“ I know that there is something on your mind, love, “ - Hawke whispered softly , trying to look his man in the eyes. However, Anders was just staring at his shoes, hiding his watery eyes from Hawke. Taking a deep breath Hawke continued, with a slight anger in his voice - “ please, let me help you. Just look at me Anders!” 

As these last words left Hawke’s mouth he immediately regretted it. He knew that screaming wouldn’t show Anders that he truly cares about his lover, and only worthen already complicated situation. Hawke parted his lips to apologise and express himself, but Anders quickly placed his finger on his lover’s lips looking at the other man with a warmth and deep care in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry Garrett, “ - Anders murmured softly, while gently rubbing the other man’s lips with his thumb. With a sigh of regret he continued - “ but I can’t tell you this. Don’t think of it as a betrayal or dishonesty. I just don’t want you to be involved in all of this... “

Leaning closer Anders planted a soft kiss on Hawke’s lips, before parting away and barely whispering “ ...because I’ve accepted my fate already…” It was almost impossible to hear for a stranger to hear, but Hawke clearly heard every single word...

***  
These last words were now echoing in Hawke’s head, reminding him that all of it, was his fault. “If he had stopped Anders right there and asked him to explain himself, would it all be different now?” - Hawke kept questioning himself over and over again. Stepping closer to his lover, Hawke let the dagger slip from his hand on to the ground, while putting another hand on the other man’s shoulder. Hearing the dagger clashing, Anders hesitantly turned his head to face Hawke. His lover’s eyes were watery with a couple of dried tears on his cheeks, but Hawke was smiling. Anders felt touched and confused at the same time. “Why would he smile at him?” “ Why would he smile at such a horrible person ?” - Anders was debating himself. They were together for several years now, and he knew that Hawke is deeply in love with Anders; both of them were. However, in Anders’ mind even Hawke won’t understand the other man’s actions or even approve of it. His mind was flooded with various questions regarding Hawke’s decision and overall thoughts on the whole situation, but fortunately they were never addressed. 

Leaning closer to his lover, Hawke whispered - “ You could have told me everything, love. I am sure you were afraid, but I understand everything you’ve done.” Leaning even closer, so that Anders could feel Hawke’s beard tickling his skin. The other man’s breathing was calm and warm, helping Anders relax and comprehend what was just said. The pause lasted for a few minutes, before Hawke continued - “ You remember what I told you about us right?” 

Of course Anders did, as these words were engraved in his mind and heart. His heart was now trembling from all the overwhelming emotions Anders was flooded with. He perfectly knew that words won’t be enough to express Anders’ gratitude and appreciation of Hawke. Anders was never big on words, as most of the time he would question every sentence and every action in his head. Thus he decided to plant a soft kiss on the other man’s lips. Hawke’s lips were wet, from tears, but Anders didn’t mind at all. Their kiss was long, filled with deep care and love. 

“Now, let’s make mages’ life free from Templar’s oppression” - Hawke cheered, as they parted away.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that this fanfic is slightly different to my previous ones, but I think it is still relevant to the whole story and somewhat perfect ending to the whole series. This fanfic is also the last one in this series and I hope you enjoyed it :3
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read them all or a few, it really means a lot to me <3
> 
> For art and updates on a future fanfics you can follow me on Tumblr (@kabuto1234) or Instagram (@adam_wolf3)
> 
> Thank you all once again and my "beta reader" ;)


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